A man who has worked his whole life - even had his own business for 15 years - faces a major challenge when he retires. As does his wife.
As the 'non-working' wife (if you believe a stay-at-home woman is non-working, I know where there's a bridge for sale - LOL), I've been accustomed to lots of time to myself to run the household. Raised 3 children, did lots of sewing, cooking, cleaning, etc. Did it well, too. I was a very busy woman for years.
Whether Mike was working for someone else or for himself, he was gone a lot. At the very least normal work hours during the day; at the most he might be gone 3 or 4 days at a time traveling around the country making sales calls or doing jobs when he had his own business. We enjoyed our time together evenings and/or weekends when he wasn't working.
Now he's home 24/7. Doesn't know what to do with himself but seems to think we are now joined at the hip and should do EVERYTHING together. He tends to micro-manage the household and it's various tasks now, too. Any job I've been doing around the house for the last 42 years, he suddenly has to 'discuss' with me because he thinks there's a better way to do it. Oy!
While we were in Florida, I talked with the wives of several retired couples we know. All of them said, "He's just retired?"
"Yes."
"Oh, poor you. He wants to do everything with you and is trying to tell you how to do everything in the home now - right?"
"Sigh. Yes."
"We know you're going through a rough time right now. We've been there. Stick to your guns and give it a year. He will settle down and develop his own interests."
Yippee! There's hope! Has it been a year yet? LOL No, he just officially retired the end of January so we have a ways to go.
Couple all the above with the fact that we are both now adjusting to an itty-bitty living space and life can have 'interesting' moments.
I'm not trying to sound like a whiner. I DO love him and enjoy doing things with him. But every couple needs some apart time to keep their lives and conversations from getting monotonous.
While we were in Florida in March watching over his elderly parents, his mother surprised me with some of her comments when Mike & my father-in-law would leave for a while. The first time they went out the door together, she told them good-bye and when the door shut, she looked at me and said, "Yay!" They're gone! Hope they don't come back too soon." I had been thinking the same thing but felt a little guilty about it. Not Mom! She and Dad have been married 63 years in June. She saw the look on my face and laughed.
She said, "We've been married 63 years and I don't know what I would do without him. But I don't need him around all the time. We get along much better when we're apart for a while. I loved it that he was not around everyday (traveled a lot for work) and that he played golf every day for years when he retired. Kept me sane and let me do the things I wanted."
She has Alzheimers but you can still carry on conversations with her and get these little pearls of wisdom. I do NOT feel guilty any more and am learning to say 'No' occasionally when Mike wants to go somewhere. I send him on his way without me. I enjoy having some alone, *me* time here in our rolling condo.
I have hobbies....sewing, knitting, crocheting, spinning (have a spinning wheel and some wool waiting for me to get to them) and playing the piano - although I don't have anything to play at the moment. Had to sell my digital piano a couple of months ago cause it wouldn't fit in a 5th wheel so am looking around for a good portable keyboard I can store behind the couch.
Mike's hobby has been woodworking but there's no way we could carry all those big, heavy tools. So we're trying to find a good, used mini-lathe for him. That way he'll have something to keep him busy - and maybe even generate a little income with it.
Are we unique with this problem? Nope. I've read lots of articles, besides talking to people, and this adjustment period seems to be the norm. Sadly, some couples never adjust but I don't think we'll have that problem.
But let's hope we find that lathe sooner rather than later. LOL
Gloria - The Internet GADabout
About Me
Showing posts with label Retirement. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Retirement. Show all posts
Emotions of Preparing for a Simpler Life
Life changes can be so hard. We have moved a lot in our 41 years of marriage. Roughly 18 times. We never thought we'd be retiring at 62 and we never thought we'd be selling everything we own, moving into a 5th wheel RV, and traveling around the continent.
Like other couples/families, we've spent a lifetime collecting things that are full of memories. Without the right mind set, it can be excruciating to get rid of them.
For instance.....
When my mother died 23 years ago, I took some of my inheritance money and bought a beautiful grandfather clock because both she and I had always admired them. It was kind of my personal memorial to my mother. We were very careful that, whenever we moved, it made the trip lying down in the back of my mini van with its weights and pendulum removed to avoid damage. It is our first big furniture item to have sold and will be leaving my life tomorrow night. I will miss its bonging during the night, allowing me to know what time it is by counting the bongs rather than opening my eyes and trying to see a clock in our room without my glasses.
There will be other items that will make me sad but I don't think any as much as that clock.
Mike is dealing with his own set of emotions, too. Some of his big tools are very dear to him (like his Shopsmith) but there's no way to take something like that with us. Plus, he keeps trying to figure out how to get my digital piano (in a cabinet) into a 5th wheel without giving up space needed for seating. I think it's bothering him more than it's bothering me.
We have to keep ourselves focused on the fact that it's all just 'stuff'. We have far too much of it in our lives and there's no need of it. Simple and frugal is the coming wave, like it or not. It's time we just stay focused on what's important in life - our religious beliefs, our family, and our friends. Nothing can be more important than these.
On the flip side of this process, we worry that things won't sell. That's not a good scenario either. Funds are tight and we need the money from selling non-essentials. We have 6 weeks before we have to be out of this house and on our way to Florida to 'babysit' Mike's parents for a month. We have planned on getting a small storage unit but don't want to have to get a large one and deal with all this when we get back.
On the up side, we are thankful that we're doing this in the Winter here in SW Missouri. If I had to cope with heat and humidity while doing all this, I'd probably collapse. But we are excited at the prospect of the end result of our labors. Of being able to travel - or not - as the whim hits us. To live a simple, easy-going life without all the stress and pressure. It's a relief to know that when all is said in done - after lots and lots of moves under our belts - that our little 'house' will just go with us when we move.
We just have to get through the next 6 weeks and have faith that all will work out.
Til next time,
Gloria - The Internet GADabout
Like other couples/families, we've spent a lifetime collecting things that are full of memories. Without the right mind set, it can be excruciating to get rid of them.
For instance.....
When my mother died 23 years ago, I took some of my inheritance money and bought a beautiful grandfather clock because both she and I had always admired them. It was kind of my personal memorial to my mother. We were very careful that, whenever we moved, it made the trip lying down in the back of my mini van with its weights and pendulum removed to avoid damage. It is our first big furniture item to have sold and will be leaving my life tomorrow night. I will miss its bonging during the night, allowing me to know what time it is by counting the bongs rather than opening my eyes and trying to see a clock in our room without my glasses.
There will be other items that will make me sad but I don't think any as much as that clock.
Mike is dealing with his own set of emotions, too. Some of his big tools are very dear to him (like his Shopsmith) but there's no way to take something like that with us. Plus, he keeps trying to figure out how to get my digital piano (in a cabinet) into a 5th wheel without giving up space needed for seating. I think it's bothering him more than it's bothering me.
We have to keep ourselves focused on the fact that it's all just 'stuff'. We have far too much of it in our lives and there's no need of it. Simple and frugal is the coming wave, like it or not. It's time we just stay focused on what's important in life - our religious beliefs, our family, and our friends. Nothing can be more important than these.
On the flip side of this process, we worry that things won't sell. That's not a good scenario either. Funds are tight and we need the money from selling non-essentials. We have 6 weeks before we have to be out of this house and on our way to Florida to 'babysit' Mike's parents for a month. We have planned on getting a small storage unit but don't want to have to get a large one and deal with all this when we get back.
On the up side, we are thankful that we're doing this in the Winter here in SW Missouri. If I had to cope with heat and humidity while doing all this, I'd probably collapse. But we are excited at the prospect of the end result of our labors. Of being able to travel - or not - as the whim hits us. To live a simple, easy-going life without all the stress and pressure. It's a relief to know that when all is said in done - after lots and lots of moves under our belts - that our little 'house' will just go with us when we move.
We just have to get through the next 6 weeks and have faith that all will work out.
Til next time,
Gloria - The Internet GADabout
Living Frugally in Retirement
We were doing some research on the web yesterday concerning living as cheaply as possible. Came across a free article from Countryside Magazine that we'd read back in 2005.
How We Went From $42,000 to $6,500 and Lived To Tell About It
Sounds impossible, doesn't it? It isn't but it does require that we get out of debt (we're mostly there) and change our priorities. It also involves becoming more self-sufficient. Self-sufficiency isn't a big problem for Mike and I - but writing down where every single penny has gone is. It's a habit that we're working to develop (notice I didn't say 'trying' but 'working'). It's going to take determination and I think we're each going to have to 'police' the other. Keeping track of our funds down to the penny is going to be really important in living frugally.
We've always been on the side of self-sufficiency. I usually make everything from scratch when cooking because a) it's cheaper & b) I know what's in it (can't say that about pre-packaged food from the store). Until recently I made most of my clothes. Depending on what I need, I can usually save 2/3 by making it myself. (Admittedly, some items just aren't worth the time and trouble.) I also spin wool and knit. We've gardened over the years and Mike does some woodworking and is good at fixing things.
I think as time goes on and more economic problems come into play, people everywhere are going to have to get back to the basics. Sadly, a lot of them don't know how to do things - they're used to just going to the store and buying it. Now is the time to start honing skills. It's surprising how satisfying it can be to smell your own bread baking or put on that dress or sweater you've just made.
I've found several sites with tips on living frugally in retirement - some deal specifically with being a full-time RVer and living on the cheap. One article dealt specifically with canning food while living in an RV and how to store the finished product in the RV. Very helpful.
We're still searching for our truck and rig. We've only got X$ to spend and refuse to go in debt for these things. Out there somewhere is the deal we need. We did go to a Ford dealership a couple of days ago so Mike could actually sit in some Ford F-350's. We're looking for an older one that's been well maintained with dually back wheels, 4x4, diesel, long bed (and crew cab, if possible). Mike is 6' 8" and at one time couldn't get into anything Ford made. The roofs were so low he had to tip his head sideways and the steering columns were placed in such a way that he couldn't get his long legs in. We knew this was the truck we needed to search for but decided we better make sure he'd fit. Yay!! He fits!
So the search is on in earnest. We need to get the truck first so that we can sell my car and still have something to drive around in.
Today is the day the sorting of our belongings begins in earnest. Honestly, I've been dreading this but will be glad - oh, so glad - when it's over.
Gloria - The Internet GADabout
How We Went From $42,000 to $6,500 and Lived To Tell About It
Sounds impossible, doesn't it? It isn't but it does require that we get out of debt (we're mostly there) and change our priorities. It also involves becoming more self-sufficient. Self-sufficiency isn't a big problem for Mike and I - but writing down where every single penny has gone is. It's a habit that we're working to develop (notice I didn't say 'trying' but 'working'). It's going to take determination and I think we're each going to have to 'police' the other. Keeping track of our funds down to the penny is going to be really important in living frugally.
We've always been on the side of self-sufficiency. I usually make everything from scratch when cooking because a) it's cheaper & b) I know what's in it (can't say that about pre-packaged food from the store). Until recently I made most of my clothes. Depending on what I need, I can usually save 2/3 by making it myself. (Admittedly, some items just aren't worth the time and trouble.) I also spin wool and knit. We've gardened over the years and Mike does some woodworking and is good at fixing things.
I think as time goes on and more economic problems come into play, people everywhere are going to have to get back to the basics. Sadly, a lot of them don't know how to do things - they're used to just going to the store and buying it. Now is the time to start honing skills. It's surprising how satisfying it can be to smell your own bread baking or put on that dress or sweater you've just made.
I've found several sites with tips on living frugally in retirement - some deal specifically with being a full-time RVer and living on the cheap. One article dealt specifically with canning food while living in an RV and how to store the finished product in the RV. Very helpful.
We're still searching for our truck and rig. We've only got X$ to spend and refuse to go in debt for these things. Out there somewhere is the deal we need. We did go to a Ford dealership a couple of days ago so Mike could actually sit in some Ford F-350's. We're looking for an older one that's been well maintained with dually back wheels, 4x4, diesel, long bed (and crew cab, if possible). Mike is 6' 8" and at one time couldn't get into anything Ford made. The roofs were so low he had to tip his head sideways and the steering columns were placed in such a way that he couldn't get his long legs in. We knew this was the truck we needed to search for but decided we better make sure he'd fit. Yay!! He fits!
So the search is on in earnest. We need to get the truck first so that we can sell my car and still have something to drive around in.
Today is the day the sorting of our belongings begins in earnest. Honestly, I've been dreading this but will be glad - oh, so glad - when it's over.
Gloria - The Internet GADabout
Baby Boomer Retirement at 62?
I am going to give a brief bio on us and our situation that will, hopefully, explain who we are and where we want to be.
Our names are Mike & Gloria. We've been married 41 years and have 3 adult children. Mike turns 62 this month; I will turn 62 in April. Mike had his own business in New England for many years (I did his bookkeeping from home) but the economic downturn that hit hard in 2008 hit New England earlier and just kept building and getting worse. (He repaired and put chemical-resistant coatings on concrete floors for industry. Many of his customers either moved South, left the country, or closed their doors permanently.)
Mike had to close his business at the end of 2008. We'd already sold our house 3 years earlier (just before the housing market soured). We were left with no nest egg when the dust settled. He was offered a job here in the Mid-West so we said good-bye to our kids and grandkids and headed West the end of 2008. The position he was given was eliminated this past July with no warning.
For the first time in his life, Mike is on unemployment. He has been unable to find another job that will keep us afloat. While he's been job hunting the past 6 months, we've been doing a lot of researching and talking about how we're going to handle this situation long term.
I found an article from the July 10, 2010 Chicago Tribune that said:
"Following the job and investing horrors of the last three years, many Americans fear they will end up in retirement like Old Mother Hubbard.
But while their cupboards are likely to contain more than a bone, a sobering study released Tuesday shows the fantasy isn't far off the mark. About 47 percent of early baby boomers, now 56 to 62 years old, are not expected to have enough money to cover basic living expenses like food, utilities and health care through retirement."
47 percent! That's huge! And we're part of those statistics. Very sobering - and yet in a strange way kind of comforting that we're not the only ones in this 'boat'.
In August we spent some time in British Columbia visiting with one of our sons as well as friends from various parts of the world. We discovered that many people in our age bracket from other countries are going through the same problems that we are. So, it's everywhere, folks.
Economists have been talking for a while that there is a larger economic crisis looming on the near horizon that will be far worse than what happened in 2008. From the research we've done, we think they're right.
So we're trying to figure out how to cope...... We're on unemployment, renting a house but barely making ends meet. We have good friends here but our children and grandchildren are on either side of the continent. It really hurts to not be able to spend time with them on a regular basis. At the same time we don't want to be a burden to them. What to do, what to do.
This is what we've come up with that we're hoping will solve our problem and still allow us to do what we want....
Starting tomorrow we're going to start pricing and listing for sale just about everything we own to raise money to buy a used 5th wheel and used truck to pull it. We've been crunching #'s and we think we can manage to live very cheaply while being full-time RVers....IF we can find the right rig and truck at the right prices. We will have to do something to earn extra income (Mike has filed for Social Security) while we're on the road.
By becoming full-time RVers, we can spend time with the family in New England, time with the family in British Columbia, and time with friends around the country. While we're traveling around, assuming we can earn some extra income on the road, we will keep our eyes open for an inexpensive piece of property that we can 'settle down' on if need be.
'Til next time
Gloria - The Internet GADabout
Our names are Mike & Gloria. We've been married 41 years and have 3 adult children. Mike turns 62 this month; I will turn 62 in April. Mike had his own business in New England for many years (I did his bookkeeping from home) but the economic downturn that hit hard in 2008 hit New England earlier and just kept building and getting worse. (He repaired and put chemical-resistant coatings on concrete floors for industry. Many of his customers either moved South, left the country, or closed their doors permanently.)
Mike had to close his business at the end of 2008. We'd already sold our house 3 years earlier (just before the housing market soured). We were left with no nest egg when the dust settled. He was offered a job here in the Mid-West so we said good-bye to our kids and grandkids and headed West the end of 2008. The position he was given was eliminated this past July with no warning.
For the first time in his life, Mike is on unemployment. He has been unable to find another job that will keep us afloat. While he's been job hunting the past 6 months, we've been doing a lot of researching and talking about how we're going to handle this situation long term.
I found an article from the July 10, 2010 Chicago Tribune that said:
"Following the job and investing horrors of the last three years, many Americans fear they will end up in retirement like Old Mother Hubbard.
But while their cupboards are likely to contain more than a bone, a sobering study released Tuesday shows the fantasy isn't far off the mark. About 47 percent of early baby boomers, now 56 to 62 years old, are not expected to have enough money to cover basic living expenses like food, utilities and health care through retirement."
47 percent! That's huge! And we're part of those statistics. Very sobering - and yet in a strange way kind of comforting that we're not the only ones in this 'boat'.
In August we spent some time in British Columbia visiting with one of our sons as well as friends from various parts of the world. We discovered that many people in our age bracket from other countries are going through the same problems that we are. So, it's everywhere, folks.
Economists have been talking for a while that there is a larger economic crisis looming on the near horizon that will be far worse than what happened in 2008. From the research we've done, we think they're right.
So we're trying to figure out how to cope...... We're on unemployment, renting a house but barely making ends meet. We have good friends here but our children and grandchildren are on either side of the continent. It really hurts to not be able to spend time with them on a regular basis. At the same time we don't want to be a burden to them. What to do, what to do.
This is what we've come up with that we're hoping will solve our problem and still allow us to do what we want....
Starting tomorrow we're going to start pricing and listing for sale just about everything we own to raise money to buy a used 5th wheel and used truck to pull it. We've been crunching #'s and we think we can manage to live very cheaply while being full-time RVers....IF we can find the right rig and truck at the right prices. We will have to do something to earn extra income (Mike has filed for Social Security) while we're on the road.
By becoming full-time RVers, we can spend time with the family in New England, time with the family in British Columbia, and time with friends around the country. While we're traveling around, assuming we can earn some extra income on the road, we will keep our eyes open for an inexpensive piece of property that we can 'settle down' on if need be.
'Til next time
Gloria - The Internet GADabout
A Fresh New Year!
Well, world, here I am! It's January 1, 2011! (Where did the past year go?) After a false start back in October, I'm finally, seriously starting my blog about possible retirement, the different things my husband and I enjoy, and the things we want to do.
I've been using computers since the first Texas Instruments 4k ones came out. I've been on the Internet, oh, since the dawn of time - emailing, researching, downloading, uploading, running email lists, etc.
This is the first time though that I've put up a website of my own - or blogged - so it's a totally new experience. I'm hopeful that having this blog will help us with answers - and keep us organized - and, perhaps, help others out there who are sailing in the same boat.
Most importantly it's about finding answers about how we're going to afford what we want in our 'golden' years (ummmm.....more like rust than gold). We have made some decisions and have a 'plan' such as it is. More on that in the next post.
Hope you'll come along for the ride as I report on research I'll do, what we implement, and the results. I'll be interested in your helpful comments and ideas. Thanks to those of you who left comments on my test post back in October. (BTW, I encourage comments but will not tolerate those that are offensive - no attacking others and no foul or x-rated language. Hoping that we can all help each other in a friendly way.)
Our interests lie in a LOT of different areas so expect posts/threads on a lot of different topics. And, yes, Mike will be posting on here occasionally. :)
Planning tomorrow to get in to more of the specifics of our situation. Hope you'll come along for the ride.
Gloria, The Internet GADabout
I've been using computers since the first Texas Instruments 4k ones came out. I've been on the Internet, oh, since the dawn of time - emailing, researching, downloading, uploading, running email lists, etc.
This is the first time though that I've put up a website of my own - or blogged - so it's a totally new experience. I'm hopeful that having this blog will help us with answers - and keep us organized - and, perhaps, help others out there who are sailing in the same boat.
Most importantly it's about finding answers about how we're going to afford what we want in our 'golden' years (ummmm.....more like rust than gold). We have made some decisions and have a 'plan' such as it is. More on that in the next post.
Hope you'll come along for the ride as I report on research I'll do, what we implement, and the results. I'll be interested in your helpful comments and ideas. Thanks to those of you who left comments on my test post back in October. (BTW, I encourage comments but will not tolerate those that are offensive - no attacking others and no foul or x-rated language. Hoping that we can all help each other in a friendly way.)
Our interests lie in a LOT of different areas so expect posts/threads on a lot of different topics. And, yes, Mike will be posting on here occasionally. :)
Planning tomorrow to get in to more of the specifics of our situation. Hope you'll come along for the ride.
Gloria, The Internet GADabout